“Stay, beautiful baby I hope you Stay, American baby”
What Ever Girl Dreams Of
Growing up, I always felt like the ugly duckling. Tall, dangly arms, legs for days, big head, always felt out of place. I definitely was lucky, as most of you know when riding horses, you don’t have time to think about boys. However, you do have time to day dream about it.
It’s a Love Story
When I first moved to Wellington, we lived on the show grounds in a camper waiting for our house to finish being built. Ninety-nine percent of our stuff was in storage. I only had the necessities to live my everyday life. Meaning I only had riding pants, boots, and show clothes. I completely forgot that I would be starting a new school along with needing real clothes.
My first day of seventh grade I showed up in jeans, paddock boots and my mom’s tote bag. Honestly, I was mortified. I left the seventh-grade office that day with my new schedule in hand more nervous than I had ever been. I refused to look up from the ground, let alone look anyone in the eyes. Of course, in typical Sami style, I tripped and dropped my supplies everywhere. I could feel the tears forming in my eyes. As I was reaching for all my belongings, I noticed a pair of hands gathering up my things alongside me. I looked up and it was an eighth-grade boy with a sweet demeanor on his face. This boy handed me my things and told me to have a great rest of my day.
A few months later, my brother who was Mr. Popular came home with a huge group of friends. One of them being the eighth grader who helped me with my things on my first day of school. That was the start of the new norm, my brother always had friends over. As the years passed my brothers friends became family. Including the eighth-grade boy whose name was Houston Lillo.
Houston and I had on going jokes, he called my riding career ‘Pony Olympics.’ We could relate with our sport’s being our passion. Houston was a great soccer player and seriously loved every second of playing.
I ALWAYS had a crush on Houston, since the first day I met him. I just never felt good enough to be with one of the “popular” kids. Granted I didn’t even have time to think about boys or a boyfriend, so I just stayed friends with him.
Many years passed, we both graduated high school and we both moved onto college. I still was known as my brother’s antisocial older sister who rode horses. Houston never saw me as what I thought of myself. He saw me as someone who was extremely driven and talented. Little did I know, Houston had a huge crush on me as well.
We were ringing in the Year 2012, the Senft’s hosted a huge party. I remember taking pictures with friends as Houston walked in the house. I was feeling VERY bold that night. I took one look at Houston and said, “Houston, we are going to get married, I just know it!” He replied with a, “HELL YA WE ARE!” The rest was history. We were in separable from that night on. We spent every day together. He drove with me to the barn, he came to the horse shows, he helped me trailer my horses to and from the show. We spent as many hours together as we could.
His Love
I had two horses at the time, Early Morning and Naloubet. Nali was my first super-hot jumper. I competed in my first grand prix, high AO division, and 1.40 classes. Because of Nali I had all the tools I needed to ride Early. She was a difficult ride just like Early, just more temperamental. Nali was your typical stubborn chestnut mare and we butt heads ALL THE TIME. Houston was OBSESSED with Nali. He thought she was the most beautiful horse to ever exist. Houston would always walked into the barn and would say, “Good Morning Beautiful!” Nali would stick her head out and whinny at him. I honestly was jealous.
March 9, 2012
It was just like any horse show morning. I got up, got dressed, kissed Houston goodbye as I was getting ready to leave for the show. I remember leaving his room and him smiling saying “I’ll bring the Chach to the show, I’ll see you soon.” Houston loved watching me show. If he wasn’t working, he was at WEF with me. That morning I was showing Nali in the Low AO jumpers. I had the fastest time and the last rail in the jump off. Houston was so upset, he kept telling me how close “his girls” were to winning. We were sitting eating breakfast and I had to break the news to him that Nali was possibly getting tried. His response “Please don’t sell Nali, she’s my girl.”
As we finished up breakfast, Houston was insistent on working out before his soccer playoff game the following night. I took him to his car, walked him to his door. I wanted to kiss him goodbye, but my parents were five feet away from us. We weren’t into PDA either, so we just smiled at each other. As if we were saying “I Love You, I’ll see you later.”
That was the last time I saw Houston’s warm smiling face. Driving home from the gym later that day, Houston was involved in a terrible accident. Houston didn’t survive.
The Loss
There are no words that could make you feel better when dealing with the loss of a best friend, a boyfriend, your person. The weeks following Houston’s passing were all a blur. We had a week of memorials, wakes, sitting Shiva, and a funeral. When I saw his parents for the first time after they received the news. Houston’s dad hugged me so tight and told me “I knew you were special the moment I met you. I knew you were the one for my son. I knew you were going to be the one to one day give me grandkids.” That last sentence killed me, Houston was an only child, the only one to live on the Lillo name. Houston’s Dad, was so lost, was so broken, at that moment I looked his dad in his eyes and told him “I promise you, I will make sure the Lillo name lives on.”
Riding with a Whole New Purpose
I finished up WEF like everyone wanted me too. I no longer was riding for the love of my sport, I was riding for Houston. I tried every day to make him proud. When WEF ended, I broke down. I could no longer hold it together and needed a break. I didn’t show all spring. I decided I would come back to showing end of June. My first show back was at Fox Lea Farm’s Camp Series. Where I ended up winning my first Grand Prix on Early. I showed Nali as well, we won all the junior amateur combined classes.
Nali was no longer for sale. I couldn’t imagine her being loved more than Houston loved her. After Venice, Nali’s pervious injury started to resurface again. Instead of spending tons of money to make her sound. I decided to retire her from show jumping. Nali was going to take on a new career, being a broodmare. She was going to help me keep my promise to Houston’s dad by making sure that the Lillo name lived on.
Breeding Not So Easy
In typical Nali fashion, breeding her was not so easy. The first time we tried to breed her, she didn’t take. The Second time we bred her, we found two cells (twins) on top of each other. FINALLY, she got pregnant the fourth time and was expecting April 2015. I decided that if it was a boy, I would name him Lillo and show name Caloubet 11. If it was a girl, it was going to be Lilla and show name La Roux 11. Houston’s soccer number was 11, I incorporated the number into all the names of Nali’s babies in memory of him.
April 17, 2015
THE DAY HAD COME! I was in the middle of doing my physical therapy exercises at my neighborhood gym. Head phones in, jamming away. My phone vibrated, I opened the text and there it was. The picture I had waited so long to receive. It was a picture of a freshly born colt, with legs for days and a white star. I burst into tears of joy. Not realizing how loud I was being, people ran to my side asking me if I was okay. I replied, “MY BABY, I HAVE A BABY!” You could only imagine the look on their faces as I said those words. After I calmed down, I told them the story about Lillo. When I was finished, I had the whole gym in tears.
Healing Hearts
Lillo was based in Paris Kentucky. As badly as I wanted to get on a plane to go see him. Money was an issue. Plus, taking time away from Early before our summer circuit plans was not possible. Luckily, Early and I were going to be showing in Lexington for two weeks.
I chose to leave two days early for Lexington, I needed to meet my baby. I barely stopped on that drive to Lexington. The night before I was going to see Lillo, I barely slept. I couldn’t believe I was so close to my baby.
The next morning, I was up bright and early. Got my Dunkin and drove out to Paris to finally meet Lillo. Let me tell you, it was worth the wait.
When I locked eyes with Lillo for the first time, it was an indescribable feeling. Lillo was the happiest, most loveable baby. He was constantly in our faces, constantly playing, he was just simply wonderful. When I left Lillo that day, I felt pieces of my heart being sown back together.
Perfect is an Understatement
I went back every summer to see Lillo. Every time I saw him, the more perfect he got. He always looked at me the same way he did the first day I met him. He always had kind eyes and just wanted to curl up in your arms. I never set the expectations high for Lillo. I didn’t care if he was going to be a beautiful lawn ornament. I didn’t care if he had zero talent. I just needed him to feel whole. After losing Houston and then Early, Lillo had some seriously big shoes to fill. Boy, has this baby filled them and then some.
I heard over the years from the woman who bred and raised Lillo, how wonderful he was. She always told me, “he is a pleasure to work with and around.” I just thought she was being nice.
When Lillo finally turned four, it was time to start thinking of when he was going to come home. Lillo had never been off the property he was born on and he had never been on a trailer. I didn’t know how he was going to react coming to S&S Farm, I was just hoping he would be the same happy baby he was the following year.
A day before my 29thbirthday, Lillo arrived at S&S Farm. When the trailer had pulled in, the shipper told us every time he stopped he check to make sure that Lillo was the right horse. He couldn’t believe that he was a four-year-old and a stallion. Lillo walked off the trailer and right into my arms. My baby was finally home.
The Exception
Throughout my career I have ridden my fair share of young horses. I was completely prepared to deal with Lillo the way I had to deal with all the young ones in my past. Lunging, ear plugs, etc. Lillo is the exception to all young horses. He has never been lunged to get quiet, he has never worn ear plugs, he has never spooked or acted out. Even when I took him to his first horse show, he walked off the trailer into the show ring like a seasoned veteran.
During WEF I had every intention of taking him into the 5-year-old jumpers, but unfortunately never got around to doing so. I barely even got to ride him during the week. Didn’t matter to Lillo, he came out the same every time as if he was in a constant program. This summer was Lillo’s first away horse show. I was prepared to have to do all the things I have done in the past for young horses. Again, Lillo surprised me with being absolutely perfect. Got off his first four horse trailer ride walked into his stall and stared at me almost as if he was saying “What’s next?” When I rode him at the show for the first time, he walked around like he had been there for years. When I showed him, he jumped around like it was his millionth time showing. When in reality it was his fourth and first show back since November. Every time Lillo walked in the ring he just got better and better.
Heart Horse
When Lillo was born, my sole purpose was to make sure that I kept my promise to the Lillo family. I never in a million years expected this horse to do so much more. Lillo fills my heart with so much love and joy every single day. He is so much more than just a horse. He is a horse that is healing the hearts that Houston’s life had touched. I am not sure how I got so lucky, but I know how grateful I am every single day to have this horse in my life. The best part is, this is only the beginning.
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